Jordan is safe and well

I arrived home, three minutes later, to an empty house in a trance.  I couldn’t believe what had just happened.

I kept thinking I’d dreamt it up or imagined it or I’d just watched it happen in a film.

I kept thinking, i’ve got to remember this because the police are probably going to call round any minute and want some details about what happened. So, I started writing it down in my blog.

I wrote it in a daze,  i just punched it into the keyboard as fast as i could with very little awareness of what i was actually doing.   The whole scenario ticked over and over and over in my mind and I could still smell him.  A clear distinctive smell, not a horrible smell just the smell of …………Jordan.

I kept thinking, what would i have done if he’d have jumped?  Would i have watched?  What chaos would it have caused, to his family, his friends, the motorway, to me?  Could he have killed others?  I kept thinking he was a boy.  So young and he must have been so lost.  I kept thinking, where have they taken him?  Will he be OK?  What is he doing now?   Is someone looking after him?  I kept thinking, Mike, what the fuck are you doing, sticking your nose in, getting involved in things that do not concern you?  Then i got upset.  Not sad upset.  Angry upset. Then I posted my blog.

48 hours later, i’m sat here still asking questions.

The most important one has been answered.  I know that Jordan was taken to hospital and someone from the hospital contacted me  to tell me he was safe and well.  I don’t want to talk too much about jordan because i feel the need to protect him and his confidentiality even more now than i did on the bridge.

I’m amazed and touched by the reaction to the piece .  The messages are countless.  Mums whose sons had jumped off Beachy Head, Barton and Brooklyn Bridge, thanking me for saving other mums from the pain they suffer daily.  People who have contemplated suicide themselves but were saved in similar situations.  Mental health organisations, doctors, psychologists, nurses, CPN’s and most importantly, people who suffer and live with poor mental health.

I have sat and wept so much in the last two days by the kindness of your messages. I’m not shocked by the kindness because amongst the tabloid stories of Grannies being mugged, children raped and mothers murdered, I know that the majority of people who walk this planet, are good, kind, loving people.  I also know that life is hard and we suffer tragedy and loss and pain on a daily basis but this pain is eased by love.  The love of our wives/partners our kids our families our friends and without that love, it could have been me or you on that bridge.

For those of you who said it  was courageous and heroic, I disagree.  It was mad.  Soldiers are heroic, doctors are heroic, some teachers, social workers, mothers, fathers and grand mothers are heroic.  I was just mad and in a state of panic and the only thing on my mind was to save him.  In retrospect, i know i put myself at great risk but we can’t just sit and watch, sometimes we have to take risks.  Sometimes we have to stand up and be counted and i could not have lived with myself if i’d have driven past to hear later that he jumped.  Take risks.

I want to say thank you for every tweet, email, text and blog comment that you have all sent me.  They have helped me get through this traumatic time and i apologise in advance that i can not reply to everyone due to the sheer volume.  I want to thank Julie Hesmondhalgh and Ian Kershaw for the midnight text messages they sent me at a particularly traumatic ten minutes of the last 48 hours.  I want to thank all the press and the BBC for respecting my wishes for privacy especially everyone at the Manchester Evening News.  I want to thank the guy on the bike who helped me bundle Jordan over the wet, greasy barrier.  I want to thank the doctors, nurses and CPN’s and all people who do an amazing job with people with mental health suffers – you are heroes and like i sad, i’m just mad

If by writing my blog i have caused offence or pain or any sense of injustice to Jordan, his family or any of the 50,000 people who have read my blog, i give you my sincerest of apologies but I am a writer.  I write.  I write about what happens to me on a daily basis and i try to bring a sense of immediacy and reality to my writing.  Look at my previous posts like, I got “started on” last night or Freshly Painted Angels.  Look at my poems, they’re about “the here” and “the now”.  They are about the streets i walk down every single day, the buses i catch, the people i pass and sometimes my writing is ugly but i still believe there is a beauty to that ugliness and so do the 99.999% who have read the blog and messaged me through, twitter, facebook text and phone. If i had not written this blog post, I don’t know how i would have coped with what happened.

I write because i have to write.  If i didn’t write i would be ill.  I also have to share my writing, that’s why i work with 10,000 young people a year in the hundreds of schools I visit. I also read in colleges, universities, mental health units, with bands, with John Cooper Clarke, Luke Wright, Paul Morley because i have to.  That’s why i write books and make CD’s so that i can share my thoughts, ideas and situations and somehow by sharing, I feel better.

I know that my blog post has helped a lot of people, i know it made them cry but sometimes crying helps.  Reading Helps.  It is a shared intellectual experience where one person shares a small part of their mind with another person and thanks to blogging and twitter etc the reader can respond and comment.  Please, continue to read and comment- encourage your kids/friends/family to read my poems and the array of brilliant poets this city and this country have produced – beause for a lot of us – reading and writing is our way out.

God is a Manc

47 thoughts on “Jordan is safe and well

  1. And we love your writing, Mike. Another corker of a blog post, making us all think about our lives and how we would have reacted.
    Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow

  2. Thanks for posting. Both this blog, and the last blog made me cry. But as you said, that’s not always a bad thing. In these tough times, it has really heartened me to know that some people are still basically caring, loving human beings.

  3. You have absolutely no reason to apologise. You helped someone in need. I applaud you for that. It’s heartwarming to know that there are people like yourself out there. I say this as a sufferer of mental ill health.

    It is good to hear that Jordan is safe and well

    Thank you

  4. You did the right thing! It’s the best thing about being the product of Irish, catholic parents – doing the right thing! Never giving anyone up as lost, being a good Samaritan!
    You must feel really shaken up though. Kind of makes you realise the fragility of the human spirit. Should also remind you how bloody rock hard you are too – fact is, you stopped and lots of other people would have kept going.
    Btw that’s the second time you’ve made me cry today and we haven’t even met!!

  5. Hey mate, another mad poet here who saved someone this summer – chap at the bottom of the river wye – sent me off the rails for the guts of a month. It’s the people who spend their days expecting something bad to happen who know how to act at the time. You did exactly the right thing, and it is absolutely normal for most people to hang back. I couldn’t get over the people who actually ran away – even canoeists ten feet away when I dived down – but they weren’t technically there, they were so frit and shocked.

    You acted like an on-the-ball human being, and I take my hat off to you. Not many people can.

    Take care of yourself, and take it easy on yourself for a couple of weeks, because it will keep running through your head for a while.

    All the best, David

  6. as someone who’s felt mental distress close at hand, stalking my family, myself – I wanna say thank you mike. thank you for your compassion, your care, your time, your heart. and thank you for the update on jordan. I could be reading about my little brother, reading this. thank you, thank you. xxxxx

  7. Mike you represent the right choice in the humans ‘what if…?’ department. Thanks for showing us all than hearts are bigger than fears.

  8. Very glad to hear Jordan’s OK. As you’ve been told quite a few times over the last few days, you’re a hero. Nothing I can say can express just how much it means to know that there are people like you in the world who will stop and put themselves out there for others.

  9. You did an amazing thing which will have helped so many people that you will never know not just Jordan. There are not many people who would have stopped and made a difference. It was heroic and foolhardy and selfless and amazing. I for one think you have done something you should be proud of. Gives me hope in this mad world. Much love x

  10. The fact remains that you did what a lot of people would have been too scared or self-conscious or self-involved to do. Which makes you a special man in the right place at the right time. And you should be proud of yourself for how you reacted. Well done. Just take some time now to come to terms with it all. x

  11. Hey Mike, I agree with you a million percent, and I know you must have really been through it the last 48 hours. It might feel mad rather than heroic, and so stressful at the time and since it happened that you keep reliving it, and most of all I’m glad that all the amazing messages you’ve received are helping you as you need all those *hugs* of love and support for what you did and the impact it has had on you.
    You might feel it was mad and not heroic but I know why people feel it was heroic – because however mad and impulsive it was, you saved his life, and whatever happens now what you did has touched Jordan’s life and his family profoundly, and has touched all of us.

    So keep on writing, and keep on doing. x

  12. For what you did that night I would like to say thank you, i can’t speak for Jordan only for myself but I know that many people are not as lucky to have a Mike passing by, a Mike who will put his own life in danger to ensure the safety of another. When most people would have walked past, watched or been unsure of what to do you took action and helped somebody. Your post and blog serve to make people more aware so keep writing and talking about what happened and most importantly keep on being you.

  13. glad Jordan is getting help – i do have to disagree with you Mike and say were brave ok maybe stupidly brave but to me bravery is putting yourself out there to help someone and this is exactly what you did – the worlds a better place because of people like you

  14. Mike, it’s great to know both yourself & jordan are ok. What a life changing experience you’ve had. Your actions were from your heart. Please keep us updated, as we want to know more & you are a beautifully honest writer.
    Claire x

  15. I read your post after seeing it retweeted. I have mental health problems and although I haven’t seriously considered suicide I’ve had some horrible ups and downs in the last year and the thought has passed through my mind. I was concerned for Jordan. I understand you not wanting to share any more details for the sake of confidentiality. I kept your post open in its own tab and kept checking back for comments and updates. I am really glad that he’s safe. He’s got a long way to go for certain, but at least you were there to enable him to keep going. It’s a harsh and difficult world sometimes, thank you for being part of the pile of good things in the world.

  16. I am so very glad you posted a follow up blog, I have been going back to your blog time and time again, amazing writing from the heart and soul, made me cry with the sheer honestly and rawness of a very real situation that can and has happened to lots of people. I shared this on my facebook wall and immediately had at least three comments from people who had either found themselves in the very same situation or their loved ones had, your ability to articulate it helped them a great deal. Thank god you are a writer is all I can say.

  17. I came back to this blog, just to hear if there was any news on Jordan. I am so glad this young man has a chance. Suicide is a very permanent solution to a problem. I hope he finds some peace, I know nothing about schizophrenia, but bless his heart, never having met him, he has a lot of people rooting for him, knowing that he is a good person in hard times and simply loving him just to death. I wish he could know that. I hope you know we are all rooting for you too.

  18. Well done again Mike, so glad to hear Jorden is ok,and once again your are truely a great person love you loads take care, Julie xxx

  19. Thank you so much for letting us know that you are both OK. Compassion on this scale is breathtaking. It’s a relief to know Jordan is in safe hands, and I’m glad you survived the wave of intrusion that your blog(s) created; I have experience of this and know just how overwhelming it can be.

    And you are a very fine writer.

    Happy Christmas x

  20. thanks Mike for another beautiful post. I have tears again. you are so right, sometimes we just have to ignore the risks and act. thank you.
    just over a year ago, I made this little film, I am sharing it here, as I hope it speaks to some of what you and other have said.

  21. Wonderful goods from you, man. Jordan is safe and well Godisamanc's Blog I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely magnificent. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it smart. I cant wait to read far more from you. This is really a wonderful Jordan is safe and well Godisamanc's Blog informations.

  22. Thank you so much for the update on Jordan and on how you are doing. I still say you are awesome for doing what you did, altruism isn’t necessarily a natural and immediate reaction. Thank you for caring, I hope knowing that goes some way to helping Jordan in his recovery.

    1. so glad he’s still with us and hopefully getting the care he needs and well done again. you ARE a hero! Just read a similar story to your when looking for this it takes lot of guts and a touch of ‘madness’ if that’s what you want to call it but you did the right thing, never forget that nor apologise for it! Hopefully by posting this and the follow up this will get back to Jordan and hopefully help him or if not others in similar situations see that people do care about others. Hopefully encourage people to understand more about mental health and the help people deserve, as so often people ignore them and far too much stigma still out there! It affects 1 in 4 people sometime in their life so something we should all keep in mind. Hope you had a good christmas and you’ve found peace in this incident. Take care and well done again. World needs more people like you! x

  23. Mike,
    You only told me about this briefly yesterday and I have only just read your blog. Obviously a lot of people have commented already since December but it moved me so much I had to add something myself. I am not surprised at what you did – you’re a man with real heart and soul.

  24. This is a brilliant and moving story. Thanks for sharing it.

    You deserve huge credit for your actions. Yes, it might have been instinctive, “mad” and (in your mind) not heroic in the way of those soldiers and those in other risky professions, but you need to remember that each of us as readers is asking ourselves as we read, “what would we do?”.

    Heroic or otherwise, I think most of us here would be delighted if our instinctive response was as brilliant and brave as yours.


  25. I have suffered from depression, and the only reason I’m still here is because of the strength I get from knowing deep down there are good decent people like you out there and like you say it’s the here and now that matters not the then and soon to be I have a friend like you that has, unlike many people in my life been a true caring friend and been there for me when no-one else could or would, I’m not afraid of saying that if he wasn’t there when I needed him I wouldn’t be here now.

  26. i pulled my gf off a bridge at 1:30 this morning. It changed me in so many ways…to the point of obssession i suppose. I googled other like stories and i came across yours Mike…it really hit home. My gf battles from mental illness, mostly depression and it comes on at the most unexpected times. I was at work and she called me and told me she had a bad day at work and started drinking. I knew it was going to be a long night. I got home and she wanted to go for a drive to a farm close by to watch the perseid meteor shower…so we went. About 15mins went by and she started saying some strange things and began to cry. She’s done this many times before so i was use to this. But then she got manic and started to get upset and blaming me for how bad her life was and then ran off saying she was going to the bridge. I got in my car and drove up to where she climbed up. I was below in a parking lot when i looked up and watched her above start to walk across the bridge. I frantically started to google my local police as i climbed up after her. I got to the top and was just about to dial the police when i looked over to see her standing on the ledge. I dropped my phone and started to run towards her screaming her name in such desperation, fear, and sadness. She looked over at me and then stepped down just as i got to her. We hugged for what seemed like hours. I talked her back down to my car and we went home. That was the scariest thing i’ve ever experienced. I’m researching mental health clinics and i want to try and get her the help she needs. Problem is, medication and treatment is so expensive but i’m going to try everything.

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