Fear and Loathing in Harrogate on BBC Radio 4 with John Cooper Clarke, Luke Wright, Simon Day,Phil Jupitus and Johnny Green.

Phil Jones, Matt Stevens, Johnny Green and Phil Jupitus
Phil Jones, Matt Stevens, Johnny Green and Phil Jupitus

I’m reblogging something i wrote last summer because it’s going to be on the BBC Radio 4 this sunday 11th of January 2015 at 4.30pm here’s the details


and here’s the original blog

I was recently asked to join the Tour De France when it came through Yorkshire – Not as a cyclist, as a poet. BBC Radio 4 wanted to make a programme about the tour from a poetic angle and asked me, John Cooper Clarke, Luke Wright, Phil Jupitus and Simon Day to follow the tour and write poems about it. So, on the saturday we followed the Peleton (as it’s called) as it travelled through Harrogate and on the sunday we went to beautiful sheffield.

We performed live both nights at the theatre royal in Harrogate and the Town Hall in sheffield. Our MC for the evening was Johnny Green (tour manager of the clash, writer and keen cycling fan) and we were also joined on stage by Matt Stevens, british cycling champion whose created a brilliant character called Kenny Van Vlaminck (spoof belgian cyclist, check him out, funny as…..for sure) and Earl Broad doing his own slant on Alan Bennet.

I didn’t really get the cycling i.e. standing there for hours waiting for a bunch of geezers in tight brightly coloured tee shirts and shorts to come flying past at 100 mph. I thought the true winner was Yorkshire and the Yorkshire people who turned out in their thousands to cheer and shout and drink and celebrate and here’s the poem i wrote to celebrate the success of Yorkshire as hosts – Well Done Yorkshire

Le Tour De Yorkshire

I saw athletes meet and walk the cobbled streets

Roaming soles were pounding Roman roads

I saw Olympians stand hand in hand

Medal winners standing toe to toe

And Calves did burn on Leyburns hairpin turns

In Glossop the cycling seeds were sown

And not a single frown could be found in any Yorkshire town

And kids are smiling everywhere you go

In East and West Witton the cycling shorts don’t fit them

Big boys in tight tee shirts look daft

But they don’t care if you wanna point and stare

Cos this weekend we’re all game for a laugh

In Constable Burton the locals are certain

They’ve serve the greatest bitter in the land

And they’re probably right cos on Saturday night

Neither man nor woman could stand

I saw one kids face look like he’d just won the race

I saw his gran stood behind him weeping love

His mams eyes were on fire cos his dad’s just retired

To the golden Peloton up above

I saw smiles for miles from a million Yorkshire guys

A million twinkles in the eyes of Yorkshire girls

I saw Sheffield streets where secret lovers meet

Become the centre of the cycling universe

And in Harewood and Ottley I’ve heard Parisians Cockney

Singing Allez allez allez allez go

The tea was sweet and milky

In both Burley and Ilkley

And the tea girls in Bettys know

There’s only one thing better than a yellow sweater

There’s only one thing sweeter than a Yorkshire cup of tea

And that the love your land is like the love of your mam

And that love cannot be beat

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